Sunday, May 30, 2010

So I Lied.

i had wanted to post something super cool and totally interesting but.......yeah. i've had no inspiration at all the past few days, and very very little motivation. i've been in a *mood* lately and i can't describe it. kind of depressed, kind of grumpy, kind of fed up with things in general. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i had a few special requests for me to tell the story of when my psychotic ex hacked my hair off, and i definitely have intentions of doing so at some point. but when i thought about where to start that story, i realized that sooooo much background info is required to properly narrate it. and i'm not sure i'd feel totally comfortable discussing certain things. so i'm gonna wait on that one for now. just until i get a better idea of how i want to tell it, where i want to start, and where i want to end. 5 years is a long time to sum up in a blog post! and there still isn't really an "end" to the story yet. i mean yeah my hair grew back lol but a lot of things going on in my life (like, hello cameron!! and hi aubrie!) are still part of the story, i think. but it will definitely be posted at some point...

i can't quite put my finger on what exactly is putting me in this mood. probably a little of everything... things with ethan, steven, the kids, my family, etc. i am just pulled in so many different directions. the only outlet i have for the frustration is my workouts. thank god for those. it keeps me sane. or as close to sane as i think i can be. i'm hoping that after this holiday weekend is over, things will go back to "normal" (bear in mind that normal is DEFINITELY a relative term here... since there's no such thing as normal, especially for me!) and i'll feel more like myself again.

don't get me wrong, i haven't been moping about or crying or anything like that. i actually think i have been pretty upbeat. that's why this is so hard to explain. could have something to do with the headache i've had for the past week straight, blah. i just think something has to change. because everybody deserves to be happy, even someone slightly insane like me.

i hope everyone had a good weekend!! it's really pretty outside :)


Amanda said...

Wow. I don't know the story, but I'm glad that he's an ex.

Bree said...

Are you working out a lot? Sometimes glands can get 'drained' and effect our moods. sort of like a smoker or drug addict, when that 'rush' is gone there body is a-miss. Your body isn't 'amiss', you are looking like a hot mama (from one not hot mama here) but there could be hormonal (glands) issues (not pms, something different). I have had some headaches too and they were triggered by lack of sleep- I had it for near a month! doc and i tested the hormones levels and gave me some meds, but when I got some sleep they went away. SO, there are 2 things, maybe not related to you, but thought I'd share. Oh, and no one is sane any more :)- that's the new normal, love it!